A Haiku

Haikus are boring

Why would you make me write this?

Shit makes me angry.
I’m actually not that angry so don’t worry about it. This is the easiest Haiku I could think of.

Posted in Not so proud of this | 2 Comments

A Few Words on the End of Days.

As you all know, Trump was inaugurated today.

I’m not very mad though. I’m just disappointed. I haven’t quite figure out who I’m disappointed in though. I guess everyone. I’m disappointed in the people who voted for him, the press who let him get this far, I’m disappointed in the man himself.

I am actually worried for the future of this country though. He’s very interested in nukes and stupid enough to admit sexual assault into a live mic. All this “planning” for the end is more of a coping mechanism with the inevitability with it all. He’s stupid enough to go bankrupt in the casino business. Yet, he’s intelligent enough to run a campaign by evading anything that could stop him and building his own army in the process.

We have systems designed to stop this from happening but they failed. And now we all have to deal with the consequences.

I honestly don’t know what the next four years will hold. They could even be amazing. However it goes, I’ll be here. Ranting about it.

With hope,


Posted in I'm proud of this stuff, Political Rant | 11 Comments

I killed a man in cold blood

I found a new Unturned server recently. It’s Canada+, no KOS, shops, adventuring, you know, things I won’t die doing. And you get 30 XP cutting down a pine tree. My favorite weapon on the server is the Bluntforce so I try to have one as soon as I can. It scares people a bit, I think. Anyway. On this server, the admins can set bounties on people… because reasons. The bounty on this one was a guy who killed me when I got on by setting up a fucking sentry in a doorway. So he had a bounty on him for a sweet fucking Maplestrike. Adaptive chambering, Drum mag, cool shit. This guy had about 5 people next to him. So I caused a distraction. I had my friend go up on something and tell everyone he had an important announcement. So I turn off the safety, shoot him in the back of the head and fucking run. About halfway to my house I hear them yelling “Who was that! What just happened!” I told the admin I finished the bounty, I took my new gun, and I left before people found and shot me. So that’s the story of how I haven’t posted in over a week- I mean killed a man.

Posted in Funny, Not so proud of this | 12 Comments

In a Feat of Tired Stupidity

I may have ordered a Steam Link and Controller to my dad’s house. Someone who knows what they’re talking about may snicker at that, but it gets better! In a sarcastic way! I ordered it to the wrong house! My house number is 4435, I ordered t to 3345 accidentally! So isn’t that fun! But I spat in my own face with this. I also ordered a controller skin. It’s a cool CS:GO sort of lightningy  camo thing. Guess what I got in the mail the other day?

I’ve tried contacting Lord Gaben but the damn thing is overloaded! I guess people spam it or some shit because I can’t even submit a request for help.




Anyway. That was my ramble-tactic post of salt because it’s been over a week. If you guys can help, please do.


Posted in Funny, Not so proud of this | 10 Comments

Well that fucking sucked

2016 is finally over, Jesus Christ.

It was pronounced dead on scene 5 minutes ago.

I’m gonna tell you what I just told my Trump supporting relatives. Let’s all try to be better people in the coming apocalypse.

Fuck I hate this planet.

Posted in I'm proud of this stuff | 12 Comments

So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish.

I’m not leaving yet, don’t worry.

This is probably going to be my last post for 2016 though.

I’m writing this about 2 minutes after reading Cam’s mega post about what he’s doing… But I realized I can’t do that, partly because I don’t give a shit and also because I don’t know how to write and do what he does. He posts every day, pretty much and he’s talking about doing MORE daily posts and collaborations and shit. Any of you who have been here for a while know that I hired Chippy for like, a week in 2015ish. You also might know that I fired him. I think it was because I wasn’t really comfortable with someone doing my job better than me on my website. 

Anyway, I think it’s time for a site redesign. I love the Skylark theme but I think it’s getting a bit bland. So I’ll do that. I have to dick around with the settings because I noticed something the other day. You can’t like posts from the website without going into the post.

Something else I have to do is implement something consistent. Not sure if it’ll be a new background every week or a specific post every Friday or something. But I need to do that. I get around 10 views a day, when I post the same day. I’m not relevant but I go back to Cam and OY30 with that. They do, more or less, the same thing I do. But as long as it follows a theme like OY30’s “Talk about that” (Which is funny and I recommend it.) they get views. Search engines favor clickbait. And sometimes consistency works as clickbait.

I need to make some QUALITY shit. Posts like these that go on and on. I would say you guys like them but nobody reads this fuckin’ site.

Anyway, I’m gonna go. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy whatever other holidays there are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Happy New Year. See you next year I guess.

This post was dedicated to the wonderful Carrie Fisher. You will be missed, General.

Posted in Funny, I'm proud of this stuff, Story Time! | 2 Comments

Merry Christmas Everyone

I don’t know what to write.

Merry Christmas. I hope you got all the Chinese food and shit you wanted. I know I’ll find out about some of it in a week.


“Santa’s supposed to go to the house directly next door to you, but in all hear Christmas movies, he just fucks off like 20 miles east.” -Fucking Tumblr

Posted in Funny, I'm proud of this stuff, Not so proud of this | Leave a comment