I got hammered in Skyrim

So I was trolling around Windhelm, as one does, and I ended up in the bar. I wanted to pick up a couple of mini-quests from the bartender so I walked around a bit. I saw someone with a Black Robe and thought: “Oh! A mage! They usually have some stuff to do!” So I asked him. He just said “Hello friend! I have staff and you can have it if you win the drinking contest!” Something like that anyway. So I did. Because, free mage weapons. Drink one down he’s still in. Drink two, he quits and says that if I can get the third down, I can have the staff, and he’ll pat for drinks. Why the @#$% not? Drink three down. And then loading screen.


I woke up in Morthal-I hate that place so much- in the Temple of the Divines or something. This priest lady says that I got married, met a goat, went through a crappy town, and kicked the guy who had the staff’s ass. By the way his name is Sam. First thing to do is pay for the damages I caused to the temple. (There was no visible damage, mind you.) 4,700ish. Sure. Whatever. Done. I got that back in under an hour. My next mission was to go back to the little town. My horse is alive again so… there’s that. Moving on. i hoofed (haha) it over to the little town and everyone hated me. I payed them another thousand. My next mission was to go to Whiterun and talk to Ysolda about my marrige. This one’s interesting. I married Ysolda a little while back because I got a mod that lets me run my own merchant stand and as long as someone’s in the chair, I get free money. So she told me about how I ran off with someone. Then she made me lunch :D.

My final mission was to Mzrulurfurdedur. I don’t even know how you spell it. It’s an angry mage house. That was a pain in the ass. I finally made it through, collected the loot under the stairs, on the shelf, and on the mages bodies after being caught in several Bear Traps. I went through the ~Magic Portal~ and ended up in a maze. @#$%. After being confuseled for 10 minutes I made it through. Sam is a Daedra. If this Dovahkiin wasn’t such a drunk, maybe he’d’ve figured it out. You know how there’s a kind of dog called a Shitzhu. This was a Shitstahff. This was a fun quest and all, but it wasn’t worth it. Well. Actually. It probably was. I put the staff in a box before I looked at the stats. Anyway. That was pretty neat.





About PauSeen Phasefaller

I'm bored ¯_(ツ)_/¯
This entry was posted in Funny, I'm proud of this stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

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